If you haven't watched it yet DO NOT READ ON. This (and the previous post) will SPOIL the entire 13 Episodes
for you. DO NOT DO IT and if you do that's on you. SPOILERS!!!!!!!!!!!!
Okay so here is the fun part...the part where I post my random thoughts as I watched the show. I put them in "Notes" as I watched. I find them hilarious...so I am sharing them. I think this is 100% better than a "review" hahaha. I could only make it better with gifs. As you can see my "thoughts" get longer as the series progresses.
Ep 1
Hmmm, Jess seems really tall (looks up on google) good god she's an Amazon!!! (5'9")
OMG he licked her f**king face!!!! I repeat Kilgrave licked her FACE! Ewwwwwww....
Ooooo nice @$$ Mr. Luke *tilts head sideways*
Hope can't move...he told her she can't move....she pissed herself...she doesn't want to move....
Holy $hit, she killed her parents....clearly señor psycho is still in control
I'll never be able to hear "smile" and not shudder...talk about owning the creepy factor
Ep 2
Ahhhhhh a cockroach *shudder*
A bus?!? He is so concerned that Jess left him, he missed a BUS hurtling towards him. How do you survive that?!?!!?
The way he says her name...it makes me feel dirty.
I never thought I'd actually be scared of a character DT plays BUT Kilgrave is terrifying!!
OMG he took that guys kidneys?!?!??? That's how he lived...He took his KIDNEYS!
*waiting for a profound revelation* "Kill me"....Oh...OH....poor guy...
Kay the mind control is just ....he's creepy...have I mentioned that?
Talk about abs of steel
Ep 3
I feel like I'm watching true blood #crazy sex
Ugh that lawyer is a b**ch
Kilgrave is a sinister bastard
Well just make yourself at home why don't ya!
Aww she sold out her friend...I mean she needs the drugs but :(...
Trish!!!
Dont let him in...DAMMIT!
Oh nooooos....
Odd...He looks almost scared of her....I mean she is strong but....
Holy Obsession Batman! ...her.face.is.everywhere!
Ep 4
Ohhhh gurl stroke that ego hahhaha
Awwww I don't like how lawyer chick is treating her wife
He made him put a purple staff in the what?!?! Cray cray
He's using a f**king child?!?! That is a whole other level of not right.
The jumping is kinda of odd. Not as a "power" just the effect
She got blamed for the invasion of New York *face palm* people are so DUMB!
Oh no her friend if the photag!!!!! Awww can she trust no one?!?!
Ep 5
Dammit he's still sexy! He's a psycho, that should not be attractive!
Okay I like the cute cop now
Ahhhhhahhha love the superhero costume in the flashback. Totally not her but still.
Ow, dart to the neck
"Jess we need him alive" *punches him in the face* "See he's alive"
I knew that was too easy
Ahhhhhh *whimper* creeeeeeeeeeeepy jfc
Seriously the mind control is throwing me off
Ewwwwwe something about broken teeth just *shudder*
So is he obsessed with her or just her power?!?
Ep 6
A$$holes try, but I just do... Wow...cocky much
A convo about Balls...really?!!?
Ah, there's that psychopath...where's he been hiding.
Oooooowwwwe head to post
Oh Oooooh naw hell no!!!! She's preggo with that demon's child?!?!
I love when Jess goes all fake valley girl on the phone to get info
Come on Jess! He's a good guy and he's HOT
Ugh she just needs to tell Luke....it wasn't her, Kilgrave made her do it!!!!! (can I use this excuse???)
Oh man the bus driver was drunk?!!??! Easy out then girly.
Oh $hit he gonna kill that guy....Oh $hit she told him...oh $hit!!!!
Ahhhh this isn't want I want! They are cute...Luke come back!!!
Okay why...what's with the wanting that house in particular?!?!???
No...no...Jfc he bought her childhood home!!!!! Okay kids the word of the day is "Obsession". OMG!
Ep 7
*breaks into ex's apt* *uses the bathroom*
Ummmmm I don't think I needed to hear him peeing...just saying...
Awww I liked the neighbor kid...Ruben...right?
Oh man....girl twin is so annoying!
I love protective Jess, she's a little scary but means well
"We both know you don't own a vacuum cleaner" haha Best Friends keeping it real
Kilgrave bought a Mickey phone...really???
Jfc, Jess...Ruben's head in a bag...really???
Seriously the mind control is fucking terrifying!!!!! He's controlling the whole precinct?!?? "For her"...
I think the new word of the day is "Infatuation"
Aw crap he said it...he said he loved her and and and it was....*rocking in the corner* that's beyond delusional!!!!
He is terrifying!!!!!
Creepy shouldn't be...attractive. Creepy should be blatantly creepy so you can go "nah ah...not gonna go there" Ahhhh! *face palm*
Ep 8
She's trying so hard! She just wants to protect her loved ones.
Omg he recreated the house exactly!!!!!!!! Well that explains the Mickey Phone.
I can't handle the creeeeeeep factor...this isn't obsession...this isn't infatuation...this is a whole other level of crazy. He lives in his own reality!
Jess can drink, damn...I thought I was impressive with wine.
Awkward dinner is an understatement sir
He's such a bastard! Yikes times 1,000,000
"I have a conscience, it's just more selective." I don't think you understand a conscience dear...
Does the mind control work on animals? (sorry random thought bc I am dealing with a psycho puppy!)
Sooooooo domestic like....with a hint of Stockholm
I'll never be able to hear the name Jessica again without wanting to say it that way...and then immediately vomiting
Nosy Neighbors are the worst
"I'll wear one to your funeral" hahhaha Yea I don't see Jess in a dress.
Okay that was semi nice...he took care of the neighbor in a normal-ish fashion to protect Jess.
And then the rape talk...*beating head on table* uncomfortable.
He says she wanted it...but how is there consent with mind control?!!?!?
So he had a shitty childhood...so did a lot of people but that doesn't justify their harmful actions towards others.
"You're not 10 anymore"...is that a...is that a Who reference????
She's trying to make him do good...hahaha
Dynamic duo...you did ONE good deed! He's crazy!
OMG let them blink! Wait, I feel like there is a joke in there...he was 10...and 10 was in "Blink"...blink and you're dead...hahahaha I'm funny.
Nightmare Barbie's dream house bull$hit - best description of being held "captive" in your childhood home.
Does he always play a character in a freaking suit
Ahhhhhahahaha clever girl! Of course injecting him AGAIN...he'll never trust you again...oh well
My new phrase is "what would Jessica do" and the answer will always be "punch them in the face"...I like it!
Oh snap! B**ch just blew herself up!!!
Wait...hold up...Did Simpson just die?
Ep 9
He wakes up saying her name...that's a whole other level of disturbing
Oh Jess ain't playing
Is she going to shock the confession out of him?
Yep, she is!
Oh man, Kevin is it...maybe you shouldn't have said ..."we did more than (insert innuendo)"
Talk about mental torture...I wouldn't want to relive that crazy childhood
Jess: My plan was to cut his balls off hahaha
Oh the lawyer is gonna do something stupid, I just know it
OMG what is happening?!?? She is kicking his @$$!
"If that was foreplay I'm all in" *collapsing in a fit of nervous giggles* hahaha Okay he is kind of funny...
Jesus...okay Jess stop hitting him!!!!
I'm uncomfortable, I'm uncomfortable!
Ummmm I almost feel sorry for him...almost
Ooooooo c**t tease....but she's still married...STOP THAT
Who is Eric??? What's a Sin bin???
I know nothing of Rugby.....
Oooo the evil parents...what next
Oh he lied about his evil parents...shocking
Oh god she's so f**king stupid!!!! I can see it. Ahhhhh
Dammit, I really do feel a little sorry for him...its minuscule but its there...ugh!
This cast is phenomenal!
She f**king stabbed him with a scissors...gee thanks mom
That stupid f**king lawyer!!! Now he is loose...AGAIN!!!
Oh oh...OH! Jess immune to him now, interesting...that's why he looked so spooked before!!!!!
Ep 10
"Eat the bullet Trish"....good idea Jess...save your sister from another mister
Wait...wait...WAIT. His power is a....virus?!?!? So his power is basically an STD since he essentially mind f**ks you.
Oh geez....he doesn't look happy or sad about the demise of his offspring....so no paternal stuff...not surprising
Wait, why does he want the fetus?
Owwwwwww death by 1000 cuts
Simpson is going to do something stupid
DAMMIT, I knew it! He killed the detective!!!!! Omg!!!!
Jesus the cuts!!!!! Wendy is actually counting to 1000.....
Oh Wendy's dead...oh no
He broke in...AGAIN?
He's such an @$$hole!!!
You want what I have? Hope...the person
Jess is brutal man...she knows how to "cut deep"
He's helped her get Hope released...this is some warped way of showing affection...
You go back to your life of mediocrity and underachievement *jerk*
Hogarth is throwing her girlfriend/mistress under the bus...what a b**ch!
18 seconds...rooftop....what is he going on about?!?!
Wait...they have different memories of what happened...
He remembers not controlling her and her kissing him...willingly.
She remembers saying she'll just be a mo and starts to jump off the roof but he stops her with another command...DELUSIONAL!
To listen to someone else
He tried to make her cutoff her ears....creeeeepy
She punched the $hit out of him....AGAIN! I mean he's already a nut...brain damage probably wont help...
OMG girl twin is so f**king dumb!!!! I hate her so much!
Ahhhhh people are so f**king stupid!!!!!
Simpson is a pigheaded idiot...I don't like him anymore!
It's a f**king perfume...the "cure" is a perfume?!? - ahhhahahaha
"Say your Sorry"...OMG he makes me so uncomfortable
Wait it didn't work or is it an act....nope didn't work...damn
Ep11
Bc of you idiots her friend is dead!!!!!!
Guess we all lost "Hope"...sorry...not sorry
Girl twin, ahhhhhhhh!
Dude you are hallucinating!!!! Aka lack of sleep...aka take a NAP!
Simpson is crazy!!!
"Whose gonna pay for my truck"...priorities...
Ooowwww well at least its a pretty PURPLE...still a bruise
It has to be terrifying and awesome to discover super strength
Stalker central!!!!! Simpson too...WTF?!???
He's obsessed with Jessica also!!!!!
Red pill or blue pill....red pill is BAD
He locked her up????? That's not love dear...that's a dick move and I hope Trish kicks your @$$
He's trying to kill Jess....wtf man
Jess is one smart cookie
He through her through a fucking wall!!!!!! What is in that pill???
Oh damn Trish... B**ch is out for blood
Nooooooo, Trish can't die!!!!!!
He blew up Luke?!?!? Dammit Kilgrave this is why we can't have nice things...and Luke is a nice thing...well man...eye candy...I'ma stop now.
Ep 12
"We were lovers..." Ahahhhhha Well I guess that's better than telling Kilgrave "We f**ked like rabbits".
"Did you bugger my chances with her?" nice....it's not always about you @$$hole!
Seriously the level of obsession is ...scary....wow
Ahhh clubbing with the pops to test his powers
Trish's mom is psycho...bad bad bad mom
I hate when people are mean to Jess and blame her bc of Kilgrave
OMG Trish's mom is such a manipulative bitch!
Sooo did the big bad corporation that created the Simpson debacle give Jess the super power or did they take it from her and make the red pill???
He made him fall on shears?!?!? He put a pair of hedge cutters through his skull!!! Jfc man!
I know she's been through hell but girl twin is really losing it....
Oh god please don't blend his hand....I can't watch....eeeeee
Something is wrong with me....Crazy shouldn't be attractive....I can't help it...I keep seeing a handsome man....ahhhh, I'd never survive around Kilgrave...I am the stupid girl...great.
Okay he is seriously owning the psychopath...I could actually believe he IS that insane....
Hahhaha can't control her yet, well $hit
Oh no...no no no no he was under his control the whole time!!!! Dammit Luke!
The way Kilgrave says Jessica is so creepy...I feel like I need 10 showers, to stab my ear out with a q-tip and a bottle of Memory Eraser
Wait all the sexual tension was Kilgrave...but Luke & Jess did the thing...the really hot thing....they like bonded...and it was...oh ewwww...that is NOT right! Is that supposed to make her run to you...?
Stop hurting Jess!
Dammit Luke!!!
OMG she shot him!!!
Luke is okay...I know he is okay...but crying Jessica hurts!!!! She deserves to be happy! *sniffle*
Ep 13
"Pain is a surprise" well you aren't wrong...it surprises the hell outta me when I stub my toe
So I get why she brought him to the hospital but not a good idea
Yay Claire!!!! Love her.
Awww Jess...you had to...he was gonna kill you!!! Staaaahhhp
How did he find her?!?!???? Does he have a tracker up her @$$?!?
Do not call her selfish...she isn't selfish!
"I certainly regret meeting you" (yea well you f**ked up buddy) but that's a lie right....if he regretted it he wouldn't keep taunting her, he'd go away!
He called her an anal crumpet....is that a weird sex thing? or an interesting insult... ewwww
So he doesn't think he's evil...warped
Oh my god he made her a patient zero...playing on the whole zombie apocalypse thing a bit....
He can control the whole hospital????
Needle in the eye?!?!? Wtf?!??
Well at least it worked....Luke lives right?
"Take off your pants"...oh Claire
"I usually like a little more romancing"...oh Jess
Eeeeeee talking about Matt! Reach out to Matt! I love Matt!
40/60 chances stronger/kill him....I like those odds...he's a twat!
Omg he's obsessed with controlling her
"I'll make her want me" I so scared
"Reject her....devastate her over and over till she wants to die"...that's love...right?
He is the poster child for psycho controlling ex boyfriend
Awww she's cuddling with unconscious Luke....
Ahhhhh she wanted to do the normal life with Luke...a future....I'm not crying you're crying!
That just seems painful Kilgrave....why would you do that to yourself?!?!? Oh right to "win" back Jess by forcing her to "love" you...right.
Can Claire and Jess become friends?!?!?
Well hello Trish...
Wait till I call for backup...Jess...trying to keep her safe...again
Something I never say "I love you" just break my heart a little more Jess
Where are his arms?!?!? Jfc!!!
Oh for fucks sake he's still alive...and arm-less!
"Oh I'm no ones side kick"...hahaha Claire
Sack of dark oozing shit in a suit...yea that sums up a a sleazy lawyer
Ha! music will save you Jess
Oh it's Trish!!!! Right?!?!?
Clever girl!!!!! Make as much noise as you can
He's really surprised she's still pursing him?!?! Really?!?
You better run mofo...she's pissed
Oh crap she stopped.....$hit $hit $hit
Ugh he's disturbed...delusional...CREEEEPY!
"I wanted you to love me....but you can't ...only one exception..."
Oh god stop touching Trish like that...I need an adult, I need an adult.
Plaything...slave....STOP!!!! Don't say that about Trish...ugh I need a shower!
Ewwww ewwwww eeww...."kiss me...mean it"....all while he stares at Jess...f**k a shower, I need to bleach my retinas!
Jesus please punch him!!!!
Oh my god...the wanting to control her...Oh.My.God! "say you love me" if she says it I'll scream!
She said it, she said "I love you"...to Trish
Ahhhh hahha hahha she's fine....
Holy $hit she killed him!!!!!
She snapped his neck like a f**king twig!
Well I didn't see that coming....don't think he's recovering from that...
She's been arrested for murdering Kilgrave, oh for f**ks sake!
I know how to keep a secret...yea you can Claire girl
Hogarth is ruthless...at least it's for Jess this time
Oh wow...well I guess she'll be busy now...
"Alias investigations how can we help." Awww I love Malcolm...he'd be a good "side kick"
I need a Season Two
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