I think I was murdered by a show

I watched the final episode of SPN after my last post.  It's not that I didn't have anything to say.  I just couldn't form complete sentences.

I SOBBED!

I think I literally cried for an hour.  

SPOILERS FOR THE SERIES FINALE

THEY KILLED DEAN

DEAN F**KING DIED

In like the 1st 5 min. He is hanging on that freaking nail thing crying and Sam is crying and I am crying.  And he asked for permission to go.  He asked Sam to tell him it was okay to die and I legit just sobbed.  

Sammy held him as he died and I just can't y'all.  I can't.  I am crying again and it's been f**king two weeks!

Sam lived his life.  HIS NORMAL LIFE that was taken from him in Episode 1.  

He has a Kid named DEAN!

Dean is in Heaven...well new heaven now that Jack and CASTIEL (yay!!!) revamp it. 

Dean has baby with him in heaven and goes for a drive.  A drive that lasts the REST OF SAM'S LIFE!

Sam has a family...he grows old.  He's still wearing Dean's watch.  His son is with him on his deathbed AND TELLS HIM ITS OKAY TO GO and now I am sobbing again.  Just f**king kill me man.

So Sammy goes to heaven and Dean is chilling on a bridge and doesn't even turn around...he just says "Hey Sammy" and I am AGAIN just bawling! 

And just like that 15 seasons are over.  15 years of a show I have loved for ALL 15 years is done.  Through the cheesy, sad, silly, serious...through it all, I have stuck by it and now it is done. 

Honestly, I don't think they could have ended it any other way.  It's a PERFECT ending for the Winchesters.  Dean was always going to die a meaningless death, in a meaningless place, with a meaningless baddie.  But this time he is with Sam and he is ready.  He is ready to be done with this crazy family business.  He is ready for peace. Sam gets his happily ever after.  Granted almost everyone he has ever cared about is dead.  But he manages to live the happy life.  Live the life he was meant to have.  Live the life Dean wanted him to have.  

And in the end the boys are back together in eternity with Baby.  As it should be.  

Then Jensen and Jared are on the bridge, no longer in character.  And they and the WHOLE cast thank the fans.  Because without the fans this crazy show wouldn't have been what it was and there I am just crying because even though I knew this because I follow them on social media, I really really knew they loved the show and the fandom just as much as we did.  

I have loved many a shows and I still love many a shows but something about this one really gets me.  I just have this weird connection to it.  Possibly because it was silly and serious.  But it never took itself too seriously.  It made fun of itself but it was always always about family! Not necessarily the one you are born into but the one you choose. 

He said he loved him!!!!!!!

 I know I am a little behind but I just watched one of my favorite characters die and it f**king hurt!

Life has been dumb so I am about 3 episodes behind on the final Supernatural episodes.  And holy moly what...why?!?!  I knew someone I LOVED was going to die but Cas.  Why Cas?!?!  And the way it happened.  He told Dean just how amazing he is.  That he isn't the mindless hunter no one he thinks he is.  That he became a better person/angel because of Dean.  That he learned to LOVE because of Dean.  

He told Dean HE LOVED HIM.  And then in that moment of pure happiness the Empty takes him and Billy (Death) leaving Dean alone and confused in the bunker.  

I knew Castiel was saying goodbye.  I knew there was not going to be a happy ending here.  I did not think I would literally just sob with tears pouring down my face.  

I've been watching this show from day one.  There have been many times I was sad or cried a bit.  It was usually once I saw Dean &/or Sam just broken and sad.  But this one hurt.  Dean wasn't sobbing.  He was sad but more conflicted.  What was happening?!?!  His BEST FRIEND was sacrificing himself to save him...again.  Except this time he wasn't coming back.  

Misha nailed it.  My heart soared and broke at the same time.  Then he touched Dean's shoulder and left the bloody handprint and that's it lost it again.  

I f**king love this show but GAH I need to stop crying dammit!