He said he loved him!!!!!!!

 I know I am a little behind but I just watched one of my favorite characters die and it f**king hurt!

Life has been dumb so I am about 3 episodes behind on the final Supernatural episodes.  And holy moly what...why?!?!  I knew someone I LOVED was going to die but Cas.  Why Cas?!?!  And the way it happened.  He told Dean just how amazing he is.  That he isn't the mindless hunter no one he thinks he is.  That he became a better person/angel because of Dean.  That he learned to LOVE because of Dean.  

He told Dean HE LOVED HIM.  And then in that moment of pure happiness the Empty takes him and Billy (Death) leaving Dean alone and confused in the bunker.  

I knew Castiel was saying goodbye.  I knew there was not going to be a happy ending here.  I did not think I would literally just sob with tears pouring down my face.  

I've been watching this show from day one.  There have been many times I was sad or cried a bit.  It was usually once I saw Dean &/or Sam just broken and sad.  But this one hurt.  Dean wasn't sobbing.  He was sad but more conflicted.  What was happening?!?!  His BEST FRIEND was sacrificing himself to save him...again.  Except this time he wasn't coming back.  

Misha nailed it.  My heart soared and broke at the same time.  Then he touched Dean's shoulder and left the bloody handprint and that's it lost it again.  

I f**king love this show but GAH I need to stop crying dammit!