What's with the implants?!? So much of this show is based on IMPLANTS!

Black Mirror is f**king me up! I love it!

Every episode is more and more OH MY GOD!!!!

The first season was messed up but as I watch...I think I am going have some serious issues.

Just...just...just....Episode 4 SOBBING with happiness...then this $hitshow happened....

Season 3: Episode 5 - Men Against Fire 

Why are they called "Roaches"??!?! 

I STG if a giant f**king bug comes on my screen I'm going to ......

AHhhhhhhhh! 

Okay okay they are "people" with something in their blood making them...mutants...? 

They look a lot like those "Gangers" from Doctor Who....

Wait...what's with that green light...

dude don't point it at your face...

OMG!

wait will he be a "roach" now?!?!!??!!??!

Wait...wait.....does the implant make them see non-implants as evil???? 

What is happening?!?!? 

OMG I was right!!!!  Its the f**king implant!

Buy whyyyyyyyyyyy?

Is this like the next step in justified genocide????

This is like some extreme Hitler level $hit!

"We don't actually want to kill each other."  No $hit!!!!

It helps you see the "enemy" as the monster

"Its a lot easier to pull the trigger when they are the Boogyman" WHAT?!?!?!

Talk about cleansing the gene pool

HOLY $HIT this is terrifying!

Ummm have you ever heard of the Holocaust....?

"Protecting the bloodline"

He made him f**king blind with the push of a button!!!

That is some psychological torture....

And he caved...can't say I blame him...

So it makes him see a gorgeous welcoming house and a wife when its actually a $hithole....whoa.

I can't.  This is 1000% disturbing...I love it...I need more.  This show has me like...

What the hell Supernatural?!?!?!

Okay so I didn't watch the last two episodes of Supernatural when they aired bc The CW was messing up and the audio was all jacked.  Then I moved and its been insane.  So TODAY I decided since the new season starts tomorrow I should see what I missed. 

Did I mention I was busy?  Because I f**king somehow missed all the GD spoilers about what the F**K happened!!!!

Here I am knowing the show has been renewed for what like 2 more seasons.  Anyways...imagine my f**king screaming shock when Crowley f**king sacrifices himself to trap Lucifer in the parallel world. 

Then....f**king THEN Cas comes barging in to "kill" Lucifer and Sam & Dean go back to our reality.  Then Cas makes it out before it closes *yay* only to get f**king STABBED WITH AN ANGEL BLADE by Lucifer!!!!

Mary shows up and starts kicking Luci's @$$

She falls through the f**king portal WITH LUCIFER and the f**king portal closes!!!!!!

So Sam and Dean lost Crowley, Cas, and Mom in a matter of minutes...

Sam goes inside to check on Kelly and baby Nephilim.  And she's deceased which we knew would happen but there is no baby...

There are scorched foot prints leading out of the room. 

He follows the footprints into the "baby's room".  In a dark f**king corner is a blonde BOY and his eyes flash golden *run credits*

What the hell?!?!  What the hell?!?!  What the....

...this is why we can't have nice things Supernatural writers!

Winter is about to get hisself BBQ'd

So I wont spoil anything really but my reactions are below.  So for like 60% of the episode I was all

Then $hit got REAL!!!  And my emotions were all over the f**king place

AND THEN THE F**KING ENDING!  I mean I saw it coming and was yelling at the TV but....

Like WTF, no, what...AHHHHH, no f**king way....I need a drink!

Can't they just have a happily ever after?!?!?!

I meant to post this a while ago....apparently I just saved it and didn't post it...doh!

Sooooooooooooooo 12 Monkeys tried to slowly kill me with frustration.  I didn't realize until last night but the whole season was a slow burn of lethal frustration in an attempt to murder...ME!  Not being dramatic...scouts honor...

Okay, right.  So we have Cole who drove me INSANE in Season 1 with his "must complete the mission at all costs" attitude.  But he changed.  He changed because he realized somethings are more important that the mission.  Somethings like, CASSIE!  But she did the opposite.  In Season 1 she was the heartfelt, caring person.  She knew that its not always about the mission, its about the people.  But she changed.  She changed because she got stuck in the f**king future and slept with Deacon (what?!?!?!) and I dunno went a  little berzerk.

So the entirety of Season 2 I am basically screaming at my TV "OMG stop being mean to each other!  You care about each other!  Remember who you are..." Sorry my inner Mufasa came out.  Granted I wasn't so focused on the messed up Cole/Cassie thing that I missed the rest of this amazing show.

Season 2, like Season 1, was a roller coaster ride of emotion.  I teared up so many times.  The writing for this show is phenomenal.  I felt so many things each week, happy/sad/angry/frustrated/etc. But the season finale last night, that was superb.

SPOILERS

So at the end of last weeks episode we have Cassie FINALLY realizing she is being crazy and going after Cole to 1957.  Its like something clicked and she said "Holy $hit I'm being unreasonable.  Lets compromise." So they are stuck in 1957 for ELEVEN months...surely they've made amends.  Look I don't need romance but they are friends...shouldn't they act like it?!?!?!  But noooooo.  Why would they be mature adults?  Instead they are being mean and lashing out and not listening to each other.  Cole says things that make me cringe (eluding to her "dates" was a low blow), Cassie basically makes him feel inferior and dumb.  STOP!

So they basically have to work together to stop time from unraveling.  Meanwhile Cole stares at Cassie like a love sick puppy and Cassie is just cold...but I think she's being cautious...like I don't think she really hates him (well I know she doesn't...NOW!).  It was just a mess.  So they fail their mission, the Primary dies and Cassie is knocked unconscious...for SIX MONTHS!  In that time he f**king abandons her because "its for the best".  What??!?!  Did you just got all "Doctor Who" on Cassie.  Dammit Cole don't be like the Doctor!!!!!

Moving on.  She finds him...they fight and then they make up!  YAAASSS!  Thank you!!! Then they REALLY make up.  Oh wait, we are going there...okay.  Then she gets pregnant and Oh my gosh, he's so adorable about being a father!  But of f**king course something is still wrong which threatens their happiness.  Meanwhile in 2043 or whatever Ramsey and company are failing miserably at stopping the Witness.  A.K.A. they all f**king die!  What is happening!??!!?  Cole can fix it by "drinking the koolaid".  No really...he can drink the red tea crap and make it right.  So Cole has a decision to make 1) stay in happily ever after land with Cassie and the baby but time still unravels or 2) Go back one more time and actually stop the last Primary from dying which will erase the time line where they fall in love.  *'scuse me while I punch something*. 

So he of course chooses to save the world because he is Cole.  Time resets and Cassie is still weird with him.  They go to the future and help Ramsey and Co. NOT die but still somehow fail.  W....T...F....?!?!!?  Turns out this Witness is a f**king Jedi or something and the city isn't just a city....the whole freaking thing time travels.  Are....you.....serious?!?!!?  Before they all splinter Cassie by some miracle REMEMBERS the aborted timeline.  Yay!!!!!!!  Then she gets stuck splintering with the City...WITHOUT Cole.  G*D F**KING DAMMIT! 

Cole is like "I gots to find my boo" and Doc lady is like "okay, I got you fam".  Flash to WAY in the future.  Cassie is in some weirdo temple and that freaking old dude that looks like a slender man is there.  Ah HA! He IS the Witness.  Hahahahaha jk Mother F**ker.  He isn't.  The witness is Cassie's unborn child.  Fade to black.
 
What....WHAT....WHAAAAAAAAAAAT?!!??! What the hell kind of a...I hate you 12 Monkeys!!!  How is she still pregnant!?!?!?  Or is it somehow Deacon's?!?!?  Dude I may actually punch something if that is true...okay lets pretend I didn't say that.  How is their love child the Witness?!?!?!  Why is their child trying to destroy time?!?!?!  I have so many questions.  Thank GOD we are getting a Season 3.  I would have been SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO angry.

The Leftovers - Season 2, Episode 2 - A Matter of Geography

Oh don't mind me, my brain is just leaking out of my ear.  Seriously...again?  At least I got one kind of answer, sort of...Again, its good...I'll still watch it but good GOD what is happening!?!?  I'm not going to review every episode but I had to do this one.

SPOILERS

So we flash back to our favorite f**ked up family and how they ended up in Miracle.  YAY!  I like explanations.  And while I knew Kevin was off his rocker, I didn't realize how off his rocker he was.  He went and dug up crazy lady and PURPOSEFULLY got pulled over with her rotting corpse in the back of his truck.  He of course is the luckiest mofo on the planet because not only did he not go to jail because they hated her anyways but when he told Nora about his semi-criminal act and she said okay no biggie, I love you.  What?!? 

Then she is offered a stupid amount of money to sell her home, over 3 mil, because multiple people "departed" there...morbid much.  They get to miracle where people are on waiting lists to get in and they just so happen to rent a house...ONLINE.  Alas, the house they rented burned to the ground...hmmm I wonder if it was by the crazy firefighter dude???  Nora goes all crazy white girl and buys a house for auction....for basically what she got for her house.  Kevin is acting like a nutter which shouldn't surprise me but geesh.

He's seeing "ghosts"...ya know Patti.  But she seems so real and she wants to be acknowledged.  He thinks he's going the route of his dad and just ignores it.  When she slams his head into their new stove, its concerning.  Is he hurting himself or is she real?!!?!?

So it looked like we weren't going to see what they did during the quake because it was fading to back as Kevin fell asleep.  And then BAM he is at at the reservoir.  How the f**k did he get there without Nora noticing?!?!  Why is he tied to a f**king cinder-block??? Did he try to kill himself???  So he just happens to appear at the reservoir when the teenagers disappeared during the earth quake.  And then crazy Patti just happens to appear to him at that point with an "uh oh".  Really?!?!  What is happening???

The preview for next week (or the rest of the season) looks intense.  Did I see preacher man in a stocks?!?!?!  Are they gonna kill him?  How did creepy dad get shot?  Did they find Kevin at the reservoir?  Why are the looney toons from New York showing up in Texas? 

This show is crazy but I have a feeling Kevin is important to whatever it is.  Possibly an epicenter or something.  He is a key, we just have to figure out to what. 

American Horror Story: Hotel - OMG!

I'm not even going to summarize it.  I'm just going to show you my reactions in gifs as the hour and a half premier progressed.  There is a SPOILER at the bottom, so don't read if you haven't watched it yet.

Yay, new season of AHS!!!!

And then it started...

 And yes I will watch the next one but this one may have scarred me.  I had sympathy butt hurt after that ONE scene.  I mean come on, it was a f**king metal unicorn horn...in the @$$hole!!!!!!!! Just...ow man...just ow... 

I only have more questions...that's so not fair!!!

So for some stupid reason I decided to keep watching The Leftovers.  It isn't a bad show but it is very dark.  By the end of last season I was still very WTF.  I had no idea what was going on but things got real weird, real fast.  So I figured Season 2 would still be weird but would answer some of the questions we all had.

The season opener gave me a migraine.  If you haven't watched it and still plan on watching it,
DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER!  You have been warned.  It came on Sunday...but I am being nice...
SPOILERS below.


So it started in 10,000BC or something (what?!?).  There was a cave woman.  I honest to God thought I started watching the wrong show.  So she's prego and has to tinkle, why do I need to know this?!!?!  Anyways she leaves her tribe in the cave and there is a flipping earthquake and they are all buried alive...well that sucks!  So b**ch goes into labor all alone and manages to birth the baby and not die, kudos cave chick.  Again, I am still like what am I watching?!!?!?  So she is starving and has to find food and gets bit by a snake (uh oh).  Her arm goes all gangrene and basically falls off and she dies with the infant clutched to her chest while laying near a water reserve, creek thing...jfc that's terrible!  Some other tribe lady finds the baby, gives dead mom a sad look and moves on.  Then we flash to present day Miracle, TX.  Ummmmm WTF?

Why am I in Miracle, TX?  Who are these new characters?!?!  What happened to the old characters?!?!?  What was with the flipping cave woman?!?!  What is happening?!?!  So apparently Miracle was the only place where people didn't "depart".  No one was "taken" so now its like a holy land.  Honestly, when they show the buses coming in with peeps and residents of the town selling "holy items" all I could think of was Fatima or Medjugorje.  Ya know, places where Mary appeared and then *BAM* its now a place where people pilgrimage from all over the world to be close to God or "healed" or whatever.  Don't get me wrong, I'd visit too out of sheer curiosity even if I wasn't a little religious. 

It all centers around this really sketch family.  The husband is a Fireman that burns down peoples houses (WTF?!?) and his daughter is rebelling a bit and almost a typical teen.  Mom seems normal, as is the brother and the whole fam goes to Baptist services.  Finally more than half way in, we get our preacher man (Christopher Eccleston) showing up in Miracle.  But he only has a small scene and he is shooshed by the current preacher from talking about the departure and his wife's "miracle" ...odd.  The sketch dad questions him like some interrogator...what is going on!?!?

So we are back at the house and sketch dad gets a pie left on the front porch and he's all suspicious that its poisoned or something (well if you didn't go around burning down people's houses maybe you wouldn't be so paranoid!).  He sees his new Neighbors (yay, its our "favorite" f**ked up family from Season 1).  So we have preacher man, along with Kevin, Nora, Jill & recently acquired baby randomly showing up in the same town in TX...can't be a coincidence...right?!?  (yes I know him and Nora are related but they aren't exactly BFFs) So sketch dad brings the possible POISONED pie to the new neighbors...(what a d**k!) and invites them for his B-day BBQ, odd.

BBQ is weird to say the least.  Kevin is awkward anyway and sketch dad is just not right so that's fun.  Apparently sketch dad was in prison for attempted murder and that's not an uncomfortable conversation, nope not at all.  So the kids in that home (boy and girl) are apparently twins.  Weird things always happen with twins.  I should know I am married to one and my BFFs are twins.

Anyway, twin girl has a seizure at the table and messes up the bday cake (yikes!)...poor baby.  So we end up with them eating the pie (pahahahaha, karma).  No one dies but shockingly enough even after the seizure they let girlfriend go off with her friends after dinner, hmmmm.  Sometime in the middle of the night we have an Earthquake (ahhh tying into the weirdo beginning).  Mom & dad realize baby girl never came home.  Dad and twin bro go to the reservoir, creek thing and find the friend's car....running...with the radio on...locked from the inside and EMPTY.  No trace of the three girls.  OMG the girls departed didn't they!?!?!?  The creek thing is dry and the fish are flopping...where the hell did all the water go?!?!  And roll credits.

I have more questions!  I have no answers!  I have a headache!  And I will keep watching because I apparently like to torture my brain.