Tuesday, September 30, 2014

The Martian - Andy Weir

I actually finished this book weeks ago but completely forgot to review it.  I honestly don't know where to begin.  I was so hesitant to try this book.  I mean how interesting can a book about a guy stranded on Mars, ALONE, be???  I can tell you, its awesome!  I really thought I would be bored but I truthfully was not, not once.  Mr. Weir created an amazing character.  Mark is hilarious and smart....did I mention hilarious?!?  He is stranded on an alien world...alone...no way to contact Earth and he is cracking jokes in his daily logs.  I seriously want to be friends with him.  

It was like Castaway meets space travel with geeky comic relief.  I would hope that if I was stranded with little hope of surviving that I could be as witty and creative as he is.  Definitely worth reading.  How can you hate a book that starts with “I’m pretty much f**cked.  That’s my considered opinion. F**cked.”  READ IT!

SPOILERS BELOW

What made it worth while is it is not only his perspective.  NASA gets involved and hilarity and drama ensues. Because Mark has been surviving okay on his own and he does and says goofy things that piss off the scientists but just make him THAT much more amazing!  Plus seeing NASA and the world scramble to save one life.  It was wonderful.  Now don't get me wrong.  It is ACTION packed.  So many things happen.  So many times I thought, Oh no...maybe he wont make it.  By the time I got close to the end, I was on the edge of my seat near tears.  I seriously thought Weir was killing him off.  Kudos sir for keeping me on my toes and not just assuming there would be a happy ending.  And can I just tell you.  I cried!  I legit cried because the ending was so moving.  My favorite parts and comments are below. READ THIS BOOK!

Page 10 -The Hab was intact (yay!) and the MAV was gone (boo!).
I'm loving his snark

Page 17 - Hell yeah I’m a botanist! Fear my botany powers!

Page 20 - Well, that concept is critical to the “Mark Watney doesn’t die” project I’m working on.

Page 29 - If you asked every engineer at NASA what the worst scenario for the Hab was, they’d all answer “fire.” If you asked them what the result would be, they’d answer “death by fire.
So he's going to start a fire.....

Page 32- If ruining the only religious icon I have leaves me vulnerable to Martian vampires, I’ll have to risk it
Bwahahahaha

Page 35 - Damn it, Jim, I’m a botanist, not a chemist!
Points!

Page 36 - But they’re designed to work against technical faults, not deliberate sabotage (bwa ha ha!)
Omg I'm dying!

Page 38 - Nobody at NASA thought, “Hey, let’s allow a fatal lack of oxygen that will make everyone drop dead!”

Page 55 - How come Aquaman can control whales? They’re mammals! Makes no sense.
What is Mark thinking….I lol'd, for real out loud. My husband looked at me funny.

Page 57 - The Great Hydrogen Scare of Sol 37.
Ha!

Page 92 - I’ve gutted that poor rover so much, it looks like I parked it in a bad part of town
9th ward

Page 94 
Omg this book is so good! I almost started crying when I saw signal obtained!

Page 97 - haven’t been this excited about a “yes” since prom night!
Oh the jokes

Page 106 - Also, please watch your language. Everything you type is being broadcast live all over the world. [12:15] WATNEY: Look! A pair of boobs! -> (.Y.)
I just laughed for freaking hard!

Page 117- They say once you grow crops somewhere, you have officially “colonized” it. So technically, I colonized Mars. In your face, Neil Armstrong!
I seriously want to be his friend

Page 123 - I told NASA what I did. Our (paraphrased) conversation was: Me: “I took it apart, found the problem, and fixed it.” NASA: “Dick.”
*snort*
Page 124 - Great Martian Potato Migration.

Page 139 - probe we’re sending is Iris. Named after the Greek goddess who traveled the heavens with the speed of wind. She’s also the goddess of rainbows. [08:47] WATNEY: Gay probe coming to save me. Got it.
Omg!

Page 164
Woohoo! Yes, team work, no man left behind!

Page 166 - Sure.” Mitch shrugged. “But if I wasn’t willing to take risks to save lives, I’d …” He thought for a moment. “Well, I guess I’d be you.
Oh snap

Page 177 - Conclusion: I don’t need the water reclaimer at all. I’ll drink as needed and dump my waste outdoors. Yeah, that’s right, Mars, I’m gonna piss and shit on you. That’s what you get for trying to kill me all the time.
Suck it red planet

Page 198 - That makes me a pirate! A space pirate
He is 5

Page 201 - I’ll come down with fatal hemorrhoids
New favorite hypothetical way to die

Page 211
Omg! He has to live, I like him too much

Page 225 - I can’t wait till I have grandchildren. “When I was younger, I had to walk to the rim of a crater. Uphill! In an EVA suit! On Mars, ya little shit! Ya hear me? Mars!
He has to live.

Page 250 - [09:09] MAV: You’re sending me into space in a convertible
Hahahha

Page 264 - "I admit it’s fatally dangerous,” Watney said. “But consider this: I’d get to fly around like Iron Man.”
Omg where does he come up with this?!? He is about to die!

Page 274 - Part of it might be what I represent: progress, science, and the interplanetary future we’ve dreamed of for centuries. But really, they did it because every human being has a basic instinct to help each other out. It might not seem that way sometimes, but it’s true
Well said *tear* 

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