"Yes, yes I know they’ll get it all wrong without me." *tear*

Of course I was sad!  I absolutely adored Capaldi as The Doctor.  We all knew it was coming but it still was a tad sad. 

It wasn't a mind blowing episode but it was from...for...the heart(s).   It was good.  It was a good send off for both 1 and 12.  Yes, you read that right.  And if you haven't seen the Christmas Episode yet, I suggest watching it before reading on. 

We begin at the end...or end at the beginning...this time travel stuff is all wibbly wobbly.  It picks up right where the season finale left off. 

I did enjoy how they pulled in One to show how different he is but still the same.  After thousands of years he is a swashbuckling savior of the universe.  Something I don't think the 1st Doctor ever thought he would be.  Back then he was just a traveler.  A traveler who observed, taught, and learned along the way.  Sometimes he helped but nothing like we know the Doctor to be. 

I just loved how short he was with 12.  He has no time for your nonsense.  Bradley did a great job of resurrecting the 1st Doctor...the one who started it all.  He definitely did him an honor. 

Things I Loved:

- Bradley as the 1st Doctor
- Gatiss is in it
- 12 being 12
- We got Bill back!
- 12 and 1 bickering
- Bill keeping 12 in line
- Traveling in the old T.A.R.D.I.S.
- A big baddie who isn't a baddie at all
- Lessons learned - Doctor we need you
- The original scenes from Classic Who with the 1st Doctor

Things I didn't like (at first):

- Bill isn't really Bill
- Why is there a random Captain (Gatiss), what is his point?
- Peter is leaving (duh!)
- Nothing overly crazy is happening
- What is with the glass people?!?!?

Things that made me cry:

- "We can be anyone you want" HOLY $HIT ITS CLARA! *yep now I'm crying*
- "Check in on my family" - "Of course, what's the name?" - Captain Archibald Hamish Lethbridge-Stewart *WHAT??!!?!?!* 
- Them landing on the day of the WWI Christmas Armistice.  
- Bill saying "its like you are looking right through me...just see me" or whatever she says
- Capaldi's final "speech" just all of it.
- The first Doctor realizing he doesn't just go on living. He becomes a legend, a hero, a friend.  He is The Doctor of War but not because he is violent, because he stops the violence.

The last 10 f**king minutes I was crying.  Not sobbing, just eyes leaking because it was so moving, at least for me.  

This...just this entire moment did it for me (and of course seeing Jodie at the end)

"Oh, there it is. Silly old universe. The more I save it the more it needs saving. It’s a treadmill.

*T.A.R.D.I.S. noise*

Yes, yes I know they’ll get it all wrong without me.

*T.A.R.D.I.S. noise*

Well, I suppose….one more lifetime won’t kill anyone. Well, except me.

*Stirring music/T.A.R.D.I.S. noises*

You wait a moment, Doctor. Let’s get it right. I’ve got a few things to say to you. Basic stuff first.

Never be cruel, never be cowardly. And never ever eat pears! Remember – hate is always foolish…and love, is always wise.

Always try, to be nice and never fail to be kind. Oh, and….and you mustn’t tell anyone your name. No-one would understand it anyway. Except….

*gasps, falls to the floor*

Except….children. Children can hear it. Sometimes – if their hearts are in the right place, and the stars are too. Children can hear your name.

*Gasps, grunts more*

But nobody else. Nobody else. Ever.

*Pulls himself off the floor*

Laugh hard. Run fast. Be kind.

*Stirring music.*

Doctor – I let you go."

*crying alone on the couch* *still smiling* 

There she is...wait she just fell out the T.A.R.D.I.S....CRAP!

(that "Speech" was pulled from RadioTimes...I can't find the page again though....)

I think I fell with him!

Okay, so this is WAY overdue but I've been moving.  And not just like hey I moved to a new house.  I mean we sold our house, moved in with parents, moved in with another relative, moved into new home.  I've been all over SE LA and I am f**king exhausted.  But I FINALLY got to see the Season Finale of Doctor Who, The Doctor Falls.

Can I just say how f**king difficult it is to watch a recent but old episode of this f**king show?!?!  I had to buy it!  $2.99 for ONE episode...ONE!  Because we don't have cable and because you can't stream it ANYWHERE else.  Well you can find a torrent I'm sure but I have the worst luck with those so boooooooo!

With all that out of the way...holy $hit I still cried.  Like ugly cried.  I mean I'm easy emotional right now but geesh!  I did manage to avoid most spoilers and I am soooooo glad I did.

While most of the episode was hella cheesy.  I mean HELLA cheesy I was happy I waited until now.  You know why!?!!??  Because they hinted at the Doctor regenerating into a woman.  Straight up said it!  It was when Simm's Master was complaining about all the females...I LOVED IT!

So we have The Master killing him/her self.  But he/she can't be gone forever!  They are the Master...I feel like at some point they would come back.  Or her or him or a new her or him...whatever.

Soooooo The Doctor is dying...which we knew because Peter is leaving.  But Bill....Bill is crying over the Doctor's still form *tears*.  She is crying*tears streaming.  Bill is SAVED by the girl from Ep 1...The Pilot!  When she popped up I started sobbing.  She made Bill like her.  She got the Doctor to the T.A.R.D.I.S.  She helped PILOT the T.A.R.D.I.S.  She gave Bill the option to stay with her, become human and go home...do whatever she wants.  Bill chose her *squeeeeeeee*.

Bill cried over the Doctor...hmmm I feel like that's significant.  She leaves all happy *yay*.    The Doctor pops up reciting all the regenerating lines "I'm the Doctor", "I don't want to go", "I'll always remember when....the Doctor...was me..."  Nooooooooooooo!  He's in the Christmas Special...I know he is....right...?!?!  So the T.A.R.D.I.S. takes him somewhere.  Its cold.  He doesn't want to regenerate.  He doesn't want to change again.  He wants to stay him.  He walks out and....and someone is there.... no...NO!  I mean I know who is going to be in the Christmas Special (I didn't avoid that spoiler) but he's showing up here?!?!?!  "whose there?"  *squeeeeee*.  "I'm the Doctor".  *OMG YAAAAAAAASSS* "Maybe a Doctor.....but not THE Doctor"...*Ahhhhhhh* "I'm THE Doctor...the Original, you might say"....OMG I am dead.  I love this!!!!!

Look I know Moffat has a bad rep for writing horrible stories that never are concluded.  But I hope....I HOPE! Whatever he is doing here I hope its good.  I try not to be overly critical of any writer/director/creator.  I love the show...the premise too much to NOT watch.  So *fingers crossed* whatever he is doing it blows us ALL away.  

Why do we only get one season of this banter?!?!

Okay so I am sad that The Doctor is regenerating this season.  I LOVE Capaldi as The Doctor.  I know there has been a lot of criticisim but I truthfully think people are being excessively hard on the show, the actors, and the writers.  Just freaking enjoy what we have people!

And really if you stop and look he is fantastic!  I'm always leery of new companions but I like to give them a shot.  I don't think there really has been one I hated or disliked.  They are all great in their own way.  Moving on, I think my favorite part of Capaldi as The Doctor is they are staying away from the whole in love with the doctor thing.  Not that he isn't attractive but 9/10/11 was a love story...or multiple love stories and while I adored them, it took away from the fun that is Doctor Who.  He is an alien who travels in time and space.  Of course he has feelings but lets go on an adventure and forget about the sexual tension for a bit. 

So we got to meet Bill in the season premier.  And I like her quite a bit.  She is funny and smart and cute and I dunno she's fun! She had some great one liners and her repertoire with 12 seems like the beginning of a BEAUTIFUL friendship.    I feel like we are going to be cut short with him regenerating...I hope she sticks around.

My only concern is the feels.  My feeeeeeeels during the season premier were off the charts...if this is going to happen the whole season I am going to be an emotional mess!  

Why you may ask?  Well for one he is HIDING on Earth as a professor (nice).  His office has pictures of RIVER and SUSAN on his desk...what?!?!  Knife to the heart!  Then Bill doesn't know much of her mother and she tells the Doctor.  Miraculously she goes home and a long lost box of pictures appears.  He went back in time and took pictures of her Mum and left them for her!!!!!!!  They go on an adventure, yay!  And Bill get to experience like everything in on e episode.  Travel across the Earth, travel in time, travel in space, see a Dalek.  Then...then!!!! Then we get to the end and he doesn't want to travel.  He wants to wipe her memories and make her forget it all.  Then she fights back and says something like "how would you feel if someone did the to you" and f**king Clara's theme starts playing.  SERIOUSLY!?!?!!?!?  Then he says fine, go and she runs.  Then looks at the pic of Susan and says shut up, then at River and says shut up, then the T.A.R.D.I.S. chimes in and its hilarious to me. 

So he asks her to travel with him and I am so excited!  But if this many feels were had in Episode 1...I may need to Wine it up for the rest of the season!!!!

“It was beautiful. And it was sad.” Oh, and I am Hell Bent on rewatching that...mainly because my DVR cut off (jerk).

"What is happening?!??!"  My mantra for the entire Season Finale (season/series 9) of Doctor Who.  I'm saying it now...

If you read on it will be SPOILED.

Maybe I missed something in the weeks leading up to the finale but when the opening credits rolled and I saw "Jenna Coleman"  I was like wait... but blew it off as she would be his conscience once again while he dealt with the jerk-ish Time Lords. 

I was so wrong but that isn't the point...who am I kidding yes it is.  The opening scene is him talking to Clara in a f**king diner...THE diner he was in with Amy & Rory in Nevada (is this significant or just the network reusing sets???).  And he is telling her a story about CLARA. Me: OMG what happened to Clara...how is she alive...why doesn't she know the doctor?!!?!? Then he plays a song on his guitar.  Clara: What's it called?  Him:  I think its called Clara.  *ouch my heart* Then we are back on Gallifrey.  I won't lie...I geeked out the entire time Gallifrey was shown.  I mean we got his home planet and their stupid fancy dress...it was AWESOME! 

How cool

is

this!?!?!?

I loved that The Doctor had so much confidence and control while on his home planet.  By all evidence he should have been scared but he wasn't because he knew.  He knew he did right.  And he knew his people were a bunch of dicks.  He drew a line in the sand (literally).  He stood up to a firing squad.  He stood up to Rassilon!  He was so freaking amazing.  So question...was that woman his mum or just a care taker while he was at the academy?  Anyways, I laughed my butt off when he was told to drop any weapons and he dropped the flipping spoon *snort*.

So as usual the Time Lords act like a bunch of pompous @$$hats.  He gets rid of Rassilon and becomes President......I thought...I thought he didn't like being President.  Question: How the f**k did the Sisters of Karn find Gallifrey?!!?!!?  Anyway, so he uses his "knowledge" of the Hybrid as leverage for the Time Lords to bring back Clara.  So we get her back between her last heart beats.  He saved her!  This PISSED ME OFF.  Not because I want her to die (I adore her...she is one of my favorite companions) but because why can't anyone in Who stay dead! It cheapens the deaths when they happen because we all know Moffat doesn't like killing them and they can always come back.  There is no finality.  Moving on, so she's like in limbo...no heartbeat, no me gusta.

The Doctor goes all rogue time lord again and runs away, all to save Clara.  This is a VERY unhealthy relationship!!!  When she finds out how long he was in that disk...I broke a little.  I was the same way...why???  He said: "I had a duty of care", what?!?!?!?  That's about as close as we are going to get to an "I love you".  Not necessarily romantic.  But he does care immensely for his impossible girl.  (I'm not crying, you're crying)  He legit steals ANOTHER T.A.R.D.I.S. and runs away.  I freaked out all over again seeing the old school console room.  Be still my little geeky heart! I just hate that The Doctor is running...AGAIN.  That he is risking the destruction of TIME to have Clara back. Even 10 didn't destroy the universe to get Rose back...COME ON!  Maybe their "love" is stronger.............

Me is there at the end.  No literally at the end of the universe, it's Me and The Doctor and Clara of course.  And WTH was with the "its always four knocks".  That is not funny Mr. Moffat.  That was a HEARTBREAKING moment for the 10th Doctor (and for us!).  Anyways, The Doc (away from Clara) says the Hybrid is Me (Told you So), she says its him (no we are NOT going there.  He is not 1/2 human or whatever.  Just STOP).  Then she says it could be two people (what!?!?!!?!?).  So the Hybrid is the Doctor AND Clara...together.  OMG...OMG!  So to protect time, Gallifrey and Clara...he is going to wipe her memories.  Son of a!  No...we are not pulling a Donna Noble on Clara!!!!  Just.No! 

Clara heard it all and doesn't want to forget.  She is fine with dying but don't take away her memories of The Doctor.  As a fail safe she reverses the polarity to backfire if he tries to use the device on her.  But he doesn't believe her.  They do the whole speaking with their eyes thing with a little talking and decide its a 50/50 chance it'll work on her.  Suddenly the Doctor collapses.  What is happening?!?!?! No...OMG no...OMG!  Why do you hurt me like this!!?!?! The whole episode I thought it was Clara who forgot.  OMG! I did NOT see that coming!  So HE forgot HER...well mostly.  He remembers some things.  He knows she's important to him and he wants to find her.  F**k now I am legit crying.  But he can't find his T.A.R.D.I.S. *awwwww*

But why in the diner? What is Clara doing?  Where is Me???  So Clara walks away into the back...into the 2nd stolen T.A.R.D.I.S. where Me is waiting by the console and the diner disappears from around the Doctor.  He was in the freaking 2nd T.A.R.D.I.S. the whole time in the diner.  OMG (have I voiced my shock yet?)!  And then we see it.  In the aftermath of the other T.A.R.D.I.S. dematerializing we see our T.A.R.D.I.S.  Our amazing box that is the perfect shade of blue...and also happens to have a picture of Clara on it that the doctor seems to miss *ouch my heart*.

This is where the DVR cut off.  But I know most of what happens (thank you Internet) and OMG I am sobbing now.  "Run you clever boy...and be a Doctor" cue a new sonic SCREWDRIVER appearing.  He is The Doctor again!!!  Ahhhhhhhh!  I didn't realize it but the whole season he was hiding!  He was hiding behind his sonic shades!!! He wasn't The Doctor...not without his screwdriver *laughing through tears*. 

And Clara ran away with Ashildr. They are going to go on so many adventures.   Ashildr is immortal, Clara is essentially immortal now...she doesn't have to Face the Raven just yet.  She became The Doctor!!!!!  She stole a flipping T.A.R.D.I.S. and is running away to have adventures.

I am not okay.  NOLAGurl.exe has crashed.  Imbibe with copious amounts of wine and start in safe mode. 

Eeeeeeeee, I can't wait for the Christmas special!!!!!



Want my random ramblings as I watched?  Read Below:

That had nothing to do with Heaven.....that was Hell. If I had to describe Hell...it would be something like that...with Fire

Okay I am saying this now, SPOILERS for Saturday's Doctor Who.  It was called "Heaven Sent" (Series 9, Episode 11).  I know I don't usually review individual episodes (except Season Finales) unless they slap me.  This one slapped me and then asked to be paid because I liked it.  Wait...never mind. 

I am not going to summarize everything but I will give some thoughts. 

1.  That is the coolest...weirdest prison ever. 
2.  That was a lot of blood in the opening scene...whose was it....and why did the person who brought 
     the doctor there turn to dust....?
3.  That thing looked like it was right out of Harry Potter....can you say Dementor

Alright...those were my initial thoughts.  As always Twelve was exceptional.  He was it.  He was the only person there...well him and a CLOCKWORK dementor (seriously why are the most terrifying Who monsters clockwork?!?!?!).  He was amazing.  Just give Capaldi all the awards he is freaking phenomenal.

So all in all, I thought this episode was wondrous.   There was an air of mystery but enough hints that if you were paying attention, you kind of figured it out.  As we all know hindsight is 20/20 but I really did catch onto a few things before the big reveal even if I didn't quite put them together in time.  

For instance when he sees the portrait of Clara... my questions were: why is it so worn?  Is it really old? Wait, how long has it been there? Who drew it?  Did he draw it?  Why does it look ancient?

When he jumped out the damn window into the sea of skulls... Holy $hit that's a lot of skulls.  Wait...whose skulls are those?  They all look similar...  What species has skulls that uniform...humans don't...well not that uniform. 

Mind Storm Room...did Moffat forget he was writing Who and not Sherlock???  OMG Clara is in his storm room.  Even in Death she keeps him grounded. 

Was I the only one that questioned the f**king extra suit drying by the fire?  My initial reaction  "wait...how many times has he done that???" Turns out THAT is the right question!

So the "dementor" for lack of a better word needs "truths" or it kills him.  But why???  What secret(s) are they trying to get out of him and who is they?!?!?

"I am in 12"...that is a CLEAR reference to him being the 12th incarnation of The Doctor...right?!?!?!

That "diamond" wall said "Home"...I rewound it and clearly saw the word Home.  Everyone online said its the T.A.R.D.I.S.  I said "Gallifrey" and I got so many replies saying that was stupid, the T.A.R.D.I.S. is Home, duh.   

When things start to fall into place...Wait how long has he been there???  OMG all the skulls are him!  How many times has this happened?!?!  It's like f**king Groundhog Day!  Two billion years?!?!!?  Hold up, how come the diamond wall doesn't repair like the rest of the castle!??!!?

They keep you so involved in the scare factor, you don't realize who "They" clearly are.  The second he broke through the wall I literally screamed "Gallifrey!" And then squeed like an idiot when they showed the dome.   My brain caught up and....

Then he says this "You can probably still hear me so, just between ourselves, you've got the prophecy wrong. The Hybrid is not half-Dalek. Nothing is half-Dalek. The Daleks would never allow that. The Hybrid destined to conquer Gallifrey and stand in its ruins is Me." F**king Timelords messing with The Doctor...AGAIN!

People were like Holy $hit, he's the Hybrid!!! The movie is cannon!!! He is half human!!! And I'm over here like "Wait...isn't the little crazy girl calling herself Me these days???" So that's my prediction for the Finale.  The "hybrid" isn't the Doctor...its Me...and the Doctor is gonna either help or stop her.  Or it at least has something to do with Me.  He recognized her when she was Ashildr but couldn't place her.  She is significant to all this Gallifrey BS!  I could be totally wrong but that makes sense to...well me.  What do you think???

Below were my real time online musings as things progressed:

- Anyone else not realize the bugs were on the tv at first….I thought I had some unwanted guests
- "Whose been stealing my nightmares…" Yikes!
- He just…he just jumped out a f**king window…
- Awwww, Clara is in his “storm room” 
- So is the question, how many times has he done that….?
- Is he in azkaban…?
- "I am in 12"… What?!?!
- “I didn’t leave Gallifrey because I was bored, I lied”…..“I was scared…I ran because I was scared”

- “I’m not scared of hell…its just heaven for bad people” well you aren't wrong
- Did that just say “home”?  Like as in Gallifrey????
- Eeeeee Clara! Even if it’s just a memory…inner conscience…. what ever
- Dafuq just happened?!?! Did he die...?!!?!
- All the blood is his!?!?!?  The hand....the, the...whoa
- How long has he been there?!?!?!?
- Holy crap!!!! The skulls, they are all him….what?!?!?
- It’s Groundhog Day for the doctor!!!
- Did he just say 20,000 years that time?!?!?!?!??
- 2 billion years…good god
- What in the what what…what?
- I'm not okay...send help...and wine...

I thought I was ready but I wasn't...I don't want to Face the Raven

This is a review/recap of Saturday's Doctor Who episode (Season 9, Episode 10).  It will contain SPOILERS so don't read further if you haven't watched Face the Raven yet.  I'm not kidding.  Don't get mad at mean because you didn't listen.

This season has been a "nail biter" as far as when & how is our lovable little Clara going to leave.  So every episode you are like "OMG is this it?  This is it!" and the Doc swoops in and saves the day, as usual.  This episode was no different.  What we are starting to see this season is someone CLEARLY wants to hurt The Doctor but who and why. 

We have The Doctor and Clara running off to save an old friend, Rigsy.  I don't really remember Rigsy but apparently he was "significant" in a previous episode.  He has, of all things, a new tattoo that is counting down to zero.  He has been memory wiped and is terrified for his family.

The adorable part...the Doctor with the "new human".  He seems to just melt around Rigsy's little girl.  It's kind of adorable in a Twelve kind of way.  So after some T.A.R.D.I.S testing and guessing they figure out that Rigsy stumbled into a "Trap Street" (pardon me...a what?!?).  Doc thinks its a "hidden" street.  Something in plain sight that we can't see because technology is telling our brains its not there.  We have the T.A.R.D.I.S flying over London with Clara dangling out of it like a nut looking for the street.  She is 100% an adrenaline junkie and I think it's starting (continuing) to frighten The Doctor.  She is more jeopardy friendly than ever and she is getting reckless.

So they find the street and we are immediately thrown into a darker version Diagon Alley.  It was quite creepy, especially once you realize everyone you see is camouflaged by a kind of perception filter.  They look human but they aren't.  Somehow Rigsy has committed murder but he doesn't remember why or how.  Ashildr (or Me) shows up as the leader....Mayor...whatever of this ragtag bunch.  She says Rigsy did it and is sentenced to death by Quantum Shade (WTF?!?).

There is some sleuthing and we see another member of this "society" freaking out.  He has stolen from the commune and shall "Face the Raven".  The clock strikes zero as his wife BEGS him to give it to her but he refuses.  The creepy caged Raven turns to smoke and dives into the "man", killing him.  The Raven comes out of his mouth as black smoke and I suddenly had flashbacks to Supernatural (its a Demon, right!??! Oh wait wrong show).  This gives Clara (who is under Ashildr's protection) the STUPID idea of taking the sentence from Rigsy because Ashildr wont kill her (see RECKLESS!) and it will give them more time to find out what really happened.

Stuff happens and then we find out Ashildr tricked them and just needed the Doc to show up so she could turn him over to someone else.  The lady wasn't murdered, Rigsy is innocent, so she goes to remove the tattoo...the problem is, it is on Clara now...Ashildr can't remove it.  Transferring the tattoo cancels the contract and Ashildr is removed as the authority.  Clara will die.

I was in denial.  I kept saying "this isn't it.  no.  this isn't how she dies.  WTF Doctor Who!?!?" Then it happens.  Clara gives the speech...The Doctor tears up...and I am now a sobbing mess on my couch.  “Don’t run. Stay with me.” That line right there broke me into a million pieces.  I might not have loved Clara last season with the Danny Pink BS but I loved her before and after.  She knows him so well and he knows her.  He's angry, she knows he will rip the universe apart to save her or destroy it to avenge her.  He can't lose his impossible girl.  So she helps him along...this is what sealed the deal for me.  This had me crying well after the credits rolled:

Clara: You. Now you listen to me. You're going to be alone now, and you're very bad at that. You're going to be furious and you're going to be sad, but listen to me. Don't let this change you. No, listen. Whatever happens next... wherever she is sending you, I know what you're capable of. You don't need to be a warrior. Promise me. Be a Doctor.
The Doctor: What's the point of being a Doctor if I can't cure you?
Clara: Heal yourself. You have to. You can't let this turn you into a monster. So... I'm not asking you for a promise. I'm giving you an order. You will not insult my memory. There will be no revenge. I will die, and no-one else, here or anywhere, will suffer.
The Doctor: What about me?
Clara: If there was something I could do about that, I would. I guess we're both just going to have to be brave.

(I'm fine I just have something in my eye, like a twig or a tree branch)

Then she runs into the street and the raven slams into her.  She dies.  She f**king dies!  And now the Doc will be transported to who knows where because Ashidr or Me or whatever her name has betrayed him to save her "people".

We flash to Rigsy (I remember him now, he was from Flatline...the graffiti dude) and he has decorated the now abandoned T.A.R.D.I.S. with a memorial to Clara.  And now I am sobbing again. 

Honestly the entire episode was just okay.  I mean it wasn't as bad as last week...murderous sleep boogers...really?!?!?!  But I wasn't overly involved in the story like I have been in the past.  It was an interesting murder mystery but it fell a little flat.  The redeeming feature of it was Clara's death which I hate that that is what "saved" this  episode.  Had she not had such an amazing, and by amazing I mean heart wrenching, send off I would have been almost bored and really annoyed with Me.  Actually I am really annoyed with Me....WTF you old bat!?!? Or maybe I realized this would be it for Clara so I didn't want to like it. 

Source

I'm fine, its fine, I'm fine *sniffle*